how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops