How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Immigration Laws

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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