A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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