How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Granny porn!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Charlie Sheen

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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