What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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