why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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snowglobe

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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someone called someone else a frog

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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France had one revolution

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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