A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops