why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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