Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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