- Anti Joke

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

Obama

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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