What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops