What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

Wanna hear a joke? no

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

I Have a Black Friend

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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