Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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the sky is green no it is not

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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