why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

What happened to my sunglasses?

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

Your mums a potato

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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