Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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