Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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I don't get it

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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