Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

a man was shot.... he died

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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