An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you end a sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops