Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops