- Anti Joke

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Please don't shoot me

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

Knock knock, COME IN!

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

Hi.

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.