A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

ok

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

What's white and gluey Glue

why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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