Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down

But officer, I did come to a full stop!

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man? Rob

thumb_up thumb_down

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down

Psychics.

thumb_up thumb_down

...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops