A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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