a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Bob Saget that is all

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Rebecca Black

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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