A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

one of the idiot

knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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