A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops