What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops