How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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