How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

Ring Ring Hello? Click

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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