PENIS lol

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Whats funny? Your face.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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