Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

what smells like tuna? my underwear

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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