How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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Whats funny? Your face.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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hi jonny

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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womens rights

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops