what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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