Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down -35

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

thumb_up thumb_down -35

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops