What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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