The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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