A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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shut up elliot

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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