Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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