Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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