A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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A Jewish man walks into an ice-cream shop. Using the money he ha eared from his full time job, he orders a chocolate ice-cream in a waffle cone.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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