What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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