A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

your mum

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...