Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Knock knock *open*

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Women's rights

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops