Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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