a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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The Labour Party.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops