Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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