Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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WILLYS

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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whats black and strange a paki

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Albino African Americans

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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