How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops