what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops