Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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