What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops